Put your crystals under my pillow

Every year I am amazed at how piss-poor my memory of humidity is. It's so easy to think about a temp and how hot it feels, but to actually experience it is wholly another thing. Two years ago I caved in and spend a fair amount of money on a bright yellow backpack with aqua skateboard straps. (Now I just need the skateboard and the ability to ride one) I love this backpack as its like second skin to me. I always know exactly where I place things in it. 

At the beginning of this week, I was checking out the weather and knew I would want to use my mailbag for a while instead. I switched the necessary accoutrements over a couple of days ago  and all has been well, until last night. I happened across my backpack (since I haven't put it away an it is still on the couch) and had such a strong desire to switch back. I contemplated it quite a few times, in fact. 

This morning as I took Sebastian on a walk, the 68F felt nice and I noticed very little humidity. This was quite impressive to me as I already knew that we had 88%humidity. As I grabbed my bag and made my way to the bus, I have no idea how I never noticed it earlier, but the air is so thick I am amazed I can't see it. I am now so glad that I did not cave in an switch back to the backpack. I don't think I could handle a sweaty back at 7AM.

We've got a long road home

We are very nearly to the second anniversary of the Sunday morning that Mom called my in tears to tell me that Donna had called her as Linda had passed away. Even though it was not a surprise due to her state leading up to that, it will never quite seem real. Linda was always one of those people that was just larger than life. It still doesn't seem fathomable that she isn't here to command around those she loved. There will never be another quite like her, although her daughters each bear certain traits.

Her memorial service would be that Wednesday and not going was never an option. I was, however, surprised to find out that Grimsby would be accompanying mom and I to Cadillac for the service. We set out dressed in comfy clothes for the 4 hour drive north and were on our way. 

In Clare, there is a welcome center. Why there is a welcome center practically in the middle of this great state, I doubt I will ever understand. What makes this welcome center so entertaining to me is the monument/memorial/statue in honor of the highway workers. As I find this hilariously absurd, mom knows that a trip north means that I will, of course, have to pee at this particular rest stop. 

On this particular day, we pulled in to the welcome center and parked a few spaces over from this almost middle-aged couple and a slightly older woman. As we are getting out of the van, she and mom start talking about how it's such a lovely day. After we were past them, she commented that she just had to talk to the lady. 

We continued on our way to Cadillac, stopping just outside of town to change into our church-going clothes. All three of us changed in the van, some of us just managed it a tad quicker than others. Mom got back into the drivers seat as Grimsby and I were finishing up. I grabbed my shoes and climbed back into the front seat and we started off, very gently, only to find that Grandma was reaching for something and fell right off of the seat. Personally I took this as a good omen of the way the day would go as I knew Linda would have laughed about it. 

We got to the church and took our seats after saying hello to all of the family and might-as-well-be-family, which we fall under. There were quite a few picture boards in the lobby, which Grandma and I ventured out to look at. While standing there, I was only half paying attention to the hubbub that surrounded us, but I did hear Dar talking to someone who introduced herself as "Linda's cousin Sue", and I never gave it a second thought. 

Grandma and I headed back to our seats and mom was finishing up her conversation. She then turned to me and said "that's the lady from the rest area" to which I finally put two and two together and told her that it was Sue. Off mom goes!!

It turns out that Mom knows Sue from way back as they both would spend time at Linda's together. They both also said that they would have never recognized each other at the rest area, but they both just felt that they had to talk to the other one. 

Linda always found a way to bring people together. 

After the service and luncheon, we all headed back to the house. As we left the church before the family had, we stopped by this fantastic used bookstore that both mom and I enjoy. I finally stumbled across the book Sullivan's Island by Dorothea Benton Frank. I had bought a couple of her books as Borders was going out of business, only to realize that I should read them in order due to linked characters. I had been unable to find the first one until that day. 

We got to the house and ate ham sandwiches. All of the girls kept cracking up as everybody kept bringing them ham. They had been eating ham for every meal for a few days, and there was no end of the ham in sight. All things considered, we enjoyed the rest of the day spending time with everyone. 

As we headed home, mom and Grimbsy were up front and I made a lovely bed for myself on the floor of the van so that I could lay there and devour Sullivan's Island and devour it I did. Until I reached the point where the main character talked about how her dad died when she was a young girl and everyone just kept bringing them ham. I just about died laughing as it just seemed like kismet. I then read that part to mom and grandma and they appreciated it just the same.  

There's a nice cop in Madison, Wisconsin

Having thighs that follow the title of Kimya Dawson's most recent album, one would think I would anticipate the occasional chafing. Or at least consider the (not very) remote possibility of it occurring before walking 12 blocks in fishnets. My thighs are starting their own revolution due to both gym-induced soreness and chafing stupidity.

To quote Easy A, "she'll be walkin' funny tomorrow." And then I shall just torture them more. What a sadist am I.

Ouch!

Hidin' Behind a Rainbow's Wall

So after almost three months of official parent/family drama, I still don't know how to make heads or tails out of any of it. I still feel as though I get caught in the middle. I know that it is completely unintentional, but at the same time, I feel as though it is unavoidable. I know that some actions were a long time coming and that changes need to be made on all parts, but I still can't help but feel betrayed. I am an adult and I know with every ounce of my being that nothing is my fault and that it does not "concern" me, yet it shatters parts of my world and up-ends so many other things that how can it not affect me. I know that there is a lot of anger and resentment on all parts, but I personally feel stuck. I do not fault anyone anything, but fear that I will have to help pick up the pieces. I know that family members are being supportive, but that does not help me in the lease as there is no way for anyone else at all to be impartial in the way that I need. I know that there is noting really that I can do at this point, but I still can't really think about it without getting kind of sick. Maybe some day I will get to be the big girl I portray on the outside instead of feeling like the scared little girl on the inside.

We gon' light this up like it's dynamite!

Today I had every intention of coming home from work and relaxing with a nice glass of sweet tea and Jack Daniels. My plan did not quite go as intended. I have been wanting to practice patterned friendship bracelets because as a child I never had the patience for anything more than simple braided ones. But before I get to that part, I must first explain that there is a couple that ride the bus with us in the morning that Scott and I have dubbed "the readers" for the very obvious reason that they read every morning. (Original, aren't we?) Scott and I have discussed that they seem like they would be cool to hang out with. While I, with my ever-growing love of talking, still seem to be incapable of initiating conversation. However, how was I to know that the simple act of putting in contact lenses on a bus would lead to a discussion of weighed contact lenses, Blood, Guts, Diseases of the Month, and showering while forgetting to wash one's body? From there we have decided that we might be twins and that we need to get together and make friendship bracelets. And then came the very starting realization that I will subject Rykk and my parents to the everyday state of my bathroom because I know they just won't care, but newbies get the cleaned bathroom and picked up apartment so that one is not instantly covered in dog hair from merely looking at our door. (It's hot, we have a long haired dog, dog has lots of fur, I inwardly cry every day while I brush and vacuum him and brush and vacuum the floor and then he still sheds more 5 minutes later *sob*) Also, since it is Wednesday and I had my mom's car, I figured that I better return cans and bottles to Meijer and pick up more beer for the hubs. Needless to say, but they time I returned home (after also stopping at the bank to drop off the name change papers so they do not still refer to me as my ex-husbands last name) Scott had taken a shower and passed out for a nap. I cleaned as much as I could as quietly as I could before deciding that the unfinished wall was bothering me. Thankfully Scott was so passed out that he did not wake up and complain that I hammered in nails for 10 more pictures to go on the wall. By that point, I decided to forego the sweet tea and have a Mountain Dew and Jack. I failed to take into account that while I tend to drink Mountain Dew as my one pop of the day, I tend to start it between 10 and 11 AM, not at 7:30pm. Now I am wide awake and I fear starting a project as I know that I will then get even less sleep than the 6 hours I will get if I were to pass out this very minute. On the plus side, I did managed to get distracted from cleaning to paint a picture frame so that tomorrow I can hammer yet another nail into my nicely painted blue wall. And then I just have to determine what to put in three of the empty frames....

Tesseract with me

There is just something about summer nights; the lingering smell of leftover sunscreen and sweat, a certain carefree vibe; the way lights react against the night sky, making it never feel as late as it may be. I may never understand it, but I love that certain days when it is nice and hot, there is a certain smell in the air that take me back to one summer in particular. A summer when I made casual decisions that would affect the whole course of my live with no further thought than whether or not it was my turn to run to the store. It was a whole summer of sitting in a cramped little room filled with cigarette smoke and musical equipment for hours each night for their band to practice. As they would play the same songs over and over, just to tweak little things here and there, the hazy air would take on a dreamy quality that I fear I will never be able to fully justify with words. I spent hours sitting in a folding metal chair drawing while the music wove itself into my subconscious, forever becoming a part of me. The days seemed endless and the future held nothing but hope and promise.

Certain smells make me laugh as the memories they trigger are of situations and smells that I found quite odd and unremarkable at the time - the right combination of junk food wrappers, cigarette butts, and almost-empty 40′s. Certain skinny-geek-band-boy types that make me giggle to myself as they remind me of the live-in band members that had to be chased out of the girls bathroom as it was always cleaner than the boys bathroom. Seeing groups of kids just standing around with no sense of purpose in that moment remind me of the hot, sticky nights when everyone would head outside for a break and stand around playing with a hacky-sack in the narrow driveway between the building and the train-track. Certain strains of music still make me freeze, as though I am hearing the haunting sound from days gone by that can’t possibly exist today, and I am instantly transported back to my eighteen year old self, and in that moment, I am invincible.

I've Moved!

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?

I officially love being an adult! Between that and "wedding planning" I had my most favoritest dinner of popsicles! I didn't come anywhere near my summer record, which was a big box in 36 hours, but the 4 or 5 that I consumed definitely left me happy. To top of my splendid evening, I got absolutely nothing accomplished other than watching an episode of NCIS that I had missed, relaxing a little, and cuddling on the floor with Bug while watching election coverage, so I think it was just the kind of day that I needed. Now I shall pass out so I can get far too few hours of sleep and get up and do it all tomorrow again, only there is a LOT to get done tomorrow!
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Who needs sleep? Well, you're never gonna get it.

NaBloPoMo? Yeah, never been able to do it before. This year, considering I get married in 113 hours and spare change minutes, I am DETERMINED to succeed with it! Maybe knowing that I HAVE to post on Saturday morning will help calm me down a little as I already feel like I am not gonna sleep a wink between now and then. I cannot wait to marry Mr. Incredible and am almost just as happy to have found my glue gun. Origami butterflies in the flowers... YES please!

As an added bonus, Roosta is currently quite hyper and is trying to coerce Sebastian into playing with him. Imagine the hyperactivity that ensues after a cat discovers a pipe cleaner wound around his tail and then goes crazy for 10 minutes trying to figure out what it is and how it got there. I am so glad we got a cat! I now can't imagine our lives without him and think that the dog wouldn't really mind too much.

As a wedding anecdote, I have been fairly calm up until now but started feeling the stress a little bit this past weekend. This is the third day in a row that i have a (stress?) migraine. I was commenting about it to my mom and she said that she noticed I have been acting stressed. I asked her why she thinks that and she stated that I have been occasionally freaking out over inconsequential things and she just felt that it may be getting to me. Considering the number of "little" things that I have been putting off as they didn't need to be completed right away, I probably am...

Well, I am guaranteed at least 4 more days of wedding-stress-filled posts, so I guess that only leaves 25 more. Wish me luck!

A hell raisin sugar when the sun goes down, mama taught her how to rip up a town

This has been the most disjointed, yet relaxing, weekend I have had in a while.

I (finally!) got my hair trimmed and discussed with Alice what we can do with my hair for the wedding based on it's current length. Have such a good game plan and I can't wait to see what she comes up with. I also love the fact that I showed her 60 or so totally different hairstyles and she is able to look at them and determine what I like about them and how it will all work together as one hairstyle. I think I will be bringing back the bangs though! Red bangs... good imagery in my head.

Yesterday Mr. Incredible surprised me by going into town to talk to a baker and set up a cake tasting for next weekend. We were planning on cupcakes, but it appears I will now have something to smush in his face... Not sure if this is why he decided to change baked good directions, but I don't think I want to dwell on it too much either.

Today I watched Whip It and absolutely loved it. I wanted to see it when it came out but wasn't sure if I was interested in it enough to spend $40 or so to see it at the theater and figured that I would at least rent it. Well now it is one that I definitely want to own. I have been very briefly toying with the notion of roller derby lately and this movie just about sealed the deal for me. It looks awesome! After that we worked on the ceremony scripting with Jezebel and am so happy that task is completed. Now all that's left is minor tweaking.After a few email back and forth I am sure it will be ready to go on notecards for him.

I just got done baking 5 dozen or so chocolate chip cookies with Disaronno and sea salt. There were probably 6 dozen, but I am pretty sure that Mr. Incredible and I have eaten about a dozen over the past hour. Seriously the best cookies I think I have ever made. Just makes me realize though that I definitely need another Silpat or two as having one just doesn't cut it when it takes you four baking batches just to get them all cooked. 

27 more days and I get to see everyone! I can't wait!

I went down to the Chelsea drugstore to get your prescription filled

I feel that I am finally at peace with things and thinking about it no longer makes me angry. I no longer want to pretend he's a dandelion.

At the same time, there are some things that I am kind of having a hard time with. The wedding is in 33 days and I always figured that if I had the nice normal wedding that he would be my man of honor. Scott and I have discussed potential guardians for our future kids and I hate to say that he was that too. All kids should grow up with someone that they can eat pineapple sherbet and discuss the X-Files with.

By the same token, I know that I have grown and changed so much myself so there is no way to know for sure if he would even still be my choice for those.

I guess I am still in the market for a joined-at-the-hip, knows-what-I'm-thinking best friend. Any takers? :)
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We're just one body that one day felt hard.

I ate a twix bar.

 

It made my teeth hurt.

 

That made me think of you.

 

Damn it!

And I dub thee unforgiven

Based on a tumblr meme that I just stumbled across, my ninja name is Katatakiarimoto Chishikitata. Considering that my mom and I both mispell my name (in the same wrong way every time... Alli-o-sn) I wouldn't dare trying to get people to call me Katatakiarimoto on a regular basis, although I do think it sounds kind of cool.

What is your ninja name?
A-ka
B-zu
C-mi
D-te
E-ku
F-lu
G-ji
H-ri
I-ki
J-zu
K-me
L-ta
M-rin
N-to
O-mo
P-no
Q-ke
R-shi
S-ari
T-chi
U-do
V-ru
W-mei
X-na
Y-fu
Z-zi
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Oh, Say it ain't so

I might have just furthered my geek status this afternoon with regards to my desired wedding present. We stopped at GameStop on the way home from work so that Mr. Incredible could drool over Red Dead Redemption some more. I kinda surprised him by caving and getting him an early birthday present. I inquired about the release date for Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, which is released a week and a half after the wedding. Mr. Incredible paid the reserve fee for it for me, so once again, Squee!
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Break down so right

I don't really know what the worst part is: the fact that on every computer I use now has a Doctor Who themed wallpaper, the fact that if I had a workshop I would already be halfway done building my own Tardis, that I am also planning a Tardis quilt, or that I just now thought it was better than Chrtistmas that Mr. Incredible just found the full Series 5 theme song for ringtones and I Squeed like the fangirl I now admit to being. I am in squee mode for sure!
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I got my head checked by a jumbo jet

Well the wedding is less than 2 months away. Wow! As of now, my biggest quandry is whether or not purple toenails will go with my orange shoes. What else can you really expect from a bride that's biggest hope for a wedding present is Doctor Who series 5 and tickets to the midnight showing of Deathly Hallows part 1. Wait, I mean I'm a total bridezilla who is freaking out over napkins not matching that tableclothes... Oh, who am I kidding... ;)

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Ain't no rhyme or reason

I would like to say that I have returned for good to the land of the bloggers, but I know myself too well to make that promise. A hectic few months, lack of sleep, and iffy wi-fi signal make for a slacker Ison.

To sum up things lately, I would like to start of by saying that I I don't think I have a life lately. To which I would also reply that I think I have had one free weekend in the past 3-or-so months. Last weekend, mom and I both took Friday off. Mom, Dad, and I then went cemetery-venturing. Last year when Dad and I were in Asheville, we learned that my grandparents had a daughter that passed away. No mention of her has been made to and of the three immediate members of my family, except from my aunt, who was the only one my grandma told about her. I guess this daughter was born sometime between 1940 and 1949and was actually buried. Otherwise not much is known about her other than that she was named after grandma's favorite teacher from St. Hedwig's, Sister Lawrence. If my recollection is accurate, it was in honor of this that my aunt and uncle named my cousin Laurene.

Unfortunately, dad asked Grandpa about it and he acted like he had no clue what we were talking about. Having grown up with my father, I know all to well how good my grandpa is at ignoring what he doesn't want to face. I have started investigating this child and figure that she would be buried at one of three main cemeteries most likely. We ventured out to one of them to check the records in the office. I found a lot of relatives that were buried there, as well as both of my great-grandfathers and one of my great-grandmothers, as well as my great-aunt. Unfortunately, no record of this mysterious daughter. I guess this just means that I will have to continue pursuing my genealogy work. It also makes me think that I want to keep better record of my life in case one of my descendants ever gets bitten with the genealogy bug.

Next week, I get to go and pick up my wedding dress from being bead checked and spot cleaned. The wedding is still like a year and a half away and the dress just makes it seem so real! So many things still have to be done and planned and chosen and paid for (!!!) but I am looking forward to it. I really want to make it a day special for those that we are close to. Mr. Incredible is still kinda having a hard time with our reception debates. We will eventually get everything worked out so that we are both happy.


Of course there has also been the familial drama, which still has me all in a tizzy depending on the day. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm an adult and that it doesn't "concern" me, but it's a change, and a big one at that. Oh well, I will survive!


On other news, dad's surgery is now less than 3 weeks away. Then three days later we trek to Cadillac for Mrs. Bieb's 100th birthday party and frankly I can't wait! I miss going to Cadillac as frequently as I remember doing as a child. Not to say how often we actually went, but I sure do seem to have lots of memories of it all. :)


Oh well, I guess that's enough for now....

All that I need- Look at all the love we found

I haven't really given much thought to it lately, but my rekindling love for all things Sublime seem to be stirring up memories of the practice space lately. It was a special time in my life that will never be able to be replicated, in time or feelings.

See, once upon a time, there was a war. Well, this war needed parts built so they built little factory buildings all over this area; a good number of them next to railroad tracks (obviously). Well this one particular one-story, off white cinder-block building was, essentially, my home away from home for a while. It was converted to random little rooms with windy hallways and particularly interesting bathrooms, then was rented out as practice spaces to local bands. And starting towards the end on my senior year of high school, I spent most of my weekend time there with DBD.

So many memories; so much happiness; so much stupidity; lots of drunkenness; my first drunken puking; the gay Nazi; and so much drama. The walls to that building held so many stories. It knew so many of my secrets; witnessed my tears; and experienced my joy.

It was there that I first talked to my college roommate, a time when I was curious and nervous both about living with someone that I had never met, let alone one that started out as a fashion major. ;)  It was there that Dark Cheetah and I spent so many nights shoulder to shoulder on the floor in the back hallway talking without ever speaking. It was there I went on and on about not being able to find my Milky Way bar. It was there that I watched so many rounds of hacky-sack on that crumbling driveway. It was there that Safi learned that Francis Drake and I weren't brother and sister. It was there sitting below the window one drafty, cold winter night with the lights dimmed and my drawing pad on my lap that I knew Northwood wasn't for me. It was there that I first hated Sublime and 311. It was there that I then fell in love with both Sublime and 311. It was there that I witnessed the only time I ever saw Dark in jean shorts. It was there that we dealt with the Rants, whom lived in their practice room. It was there that Safi went to bat for me and kicked the shaving Rant out of the girls bathroom (The guys bathroom was quite gross and the girls was only used by me, technically but not really) because I really had to pee and he didn't want me to have to use the guys bathroom. It was there that I first slapped Dark because he needed it. It was there that I watched a human head butt the cement sidewalk and be perfectly fine afterward. It was there that I learned to jump out of the way when a beer got kicked over. It was there that I cooked up my brilliant plan that since I was past my curfew, I would just never go home again (never said I was sober for this one...) It was there that Dark, Tommy and I layed on the hood of the Grand Marquis way past my curfew staring at the sky and pondering who knows what. It was there that I felt like I could escape from it all. It was there that I knew I was invincible. It was there that I lay in the backseat of the Grand Marquis for an hour or two and puked up neon yellow-green rice and Mike's Hard Lemonade while the Maintenance Man and his lackeys kept thinking I actually was in a place to talk. It was there that I perfected my placement of red tape, starting with the inlaid peavey case. It was there that I bared my soul to my best friend.

And it was there that certain songs got so ingrained into my psyche that to hear them today instantly transports me back to both rooms I was privy to. They take me back to sitting on a beat up metal chair with my eyes closed feeling myself become one with the music. Those songs taught me to appreciate the off beats. Those songs are a part of me. Those songs played a big part in who I am today. Those songs will always make me think of the good times.

The building has long since been torn down and a YMCA raised in it's place, but I will forever remember the smell of that building: stale cigarettes, spilled beer, and a certain electricity that crackles in the air from live music.

Oy!

So I realize that I haven't posted in, well, I don't even want to think about how long it has been. Suffice it to say, it's been a while.

 

Things have been interesting as of late. Mr. Incredible is working as a temp in the clinic that he did his externship in. We are hoping that he can get something permanent soon. Bug is being super-needy lately, but I think it has something to do with the weather changing and being outside more. As for Roo, who knows. Let's just leave it at :Allison doesn't understand cats! That thing is weird. He thinks he owns me, which is kinda hilarious considering he weighs maybe 5 pounds.

 

As for me, well, my head feels like it's about a foot higher than my shoulders and is just hovering there. The discussion over how much Roo weighs def. isn't helping matters anyway. I felt like crap last night so I took NyQuil and passed out. Today I feel fine aside from my head. Maybe today I could just pretend I am the Hessian and carry it around with me...

 

P.S. Thank you DayQuil!

Angry and gone, and the list goes on and on.....

I am proud of myself! I have now managed to handle both the dog's brush and the vacuum nozzle so that I can simultaneously brush and vacuum him. I am very glad that he doesn't object to either item, in fact he loves them both. Although I guess if I was carrying around that much loose hair, I wouldn't mind so much either.

Throw them in the wash. It'll be grand.

Last night (meaning Thursday night as I still haven't gone to bed, so it's still my Friday so I guess that I am not 26 yet, but technically I have another seven and a half hours anyway, so oh well) mom and I were discussing our shopping plans for the day and what time we wanted to start pounding the pavement, er.... store linoleum(?). We debated that it would depend on the weather, as we got our annual dump-heaping-piles-of-snow-2-days-before-my-birthday snowfall yesterday. Last night, the roads SUCKED so we weren't sure what to expect this morning. Mom then said that she planned on heading to the ban k when they opened at 9, so she probably wouldn't be here until ten. Then she wondered if that would be to early for me. I said it would be far too late, and she laughed as she recalled that I can drag my (not always coherent) body out of bed at any time required if it pertains to shopping. Needless to say, I think we started our ventures around ten anyways.

We headed to the mall to find a strapless bra so that I could try on dresses and see what shape/style/color I liked. Found out that in certain companies I am now a DD, so WTF is up with that?!?! Then we found some super-awesome bright and patterned tights for less than $3 per pair! Major score as for some reason lately I absolutely adore tunics and leggings. Then I found an awesome pair of boots, but the smallest they had in stock was an 8 and my semi-minuscule feet need a 6.5, so I was quite bummed until we thought to see if they can order them in my size, so SCORE! My new boots will be in on Wednesday or so.

Then we hit up Bagger Dave's for yummy cheeseburgers and decided to try our hand at viewing the ballroom or whatever it's called for a possible reception site. I adore the room, but I am not sure what I think of the place overall. Or maybe it was the lady.... I am not sure either way. Then for the fun part!

We headed towards the bridal shop that I wanted to go to that I thought I remembered the address of, then realized I also wasn't entirely too clear on the name either. Of course I also was not able to find the one random piece of paper that had it written on the back of it either. Instead decided to head to a different shop.

I must say, I was not expecting it at all. Stepping into the first dress, it really hit me. I got so excited I broke out in hives. Needless to say, it is rather hard to determine if I prefer white or ivory as my face and chest were bright red. Found two that I adore though, so now I have to decide if I like them more than the green skirt. There are so many pros and cons either way.... I hate making decision unless it is regarding something like haircolor or socks.

Chick flick then ensued as Mom and I went to see Leap Year. It was a typical chick flick in that you knew what would happen, but it was so cute. I loved it, especially the old guys in the pub. I just keep thinking that you should never start a trip on a Sunday and cracking up. Also, I most definitely now have a crush on Matthew Goode. Oh that smile..... :)

Anyways, I am now home after the inevitable stop at JoAnn's (white flowers today!) and for some reason, even though it is almost 4am, I am still wide awake. At least I have managed to finish one book today, but I can't finish the other one yet as it is somewhere in the bedroom and I think Mr. Incredible might kill me if I attempt to find it as he has been passed out for about 5 hours now and may have the start of my cold from last weekend, of which, my throat still kills.... Thanks Miss Bee! (nice run-on sentence, huh?) Oh well, guess I should go force myself to sleep so that I can actually get some stuff done tomorrow (err... today) and not sleep all the way up to my birthday dinner. Wow, guess I really am stuck on an Irish weekend.... maybe I'm trying to tell myself something! Guess I shall go ponder that!

Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today

My health has been starting to act up over the past month or two, so I recently called the rheumatologist to schedule an appointment. Imagine my surprise when they told me they could get e in the the following week (on the 23rd) and at my preferred time of 4:00. He is only in this clinic one or two afternoons a week and his first couple of appointments are for new patients. Generally I choose a 4:00 appt. when possible as this clinic regularly falls behind so I spend an hour in the waiting room, then an hour in the exam room, then an hour with the doc. Even after showing up 7 minutes late, I was shocked that I was finishing checking-out and was back in the car by 5:02. I am still rather frustrated by how this appointment went as I am really quite happy with this physician.

When I was first referred to the rheumatology clinic, I had a fantastic doctor. After a year and a half or so, she moved to Arizona and my care was transferred to a fellow that I could not stand. He discounted everything that mom or I said and neither of us felt that he actually listened to my complaints. I was none to saddened when his fellowship was over and I got my current fellow. After this appointment I am not sure whether I want to re-think these feelings though.

The joint pain has returned on a rather grandiose scale. In addition to the affected joints though, I am also having ear "annoyances" for lack of a better word, occasional chest pain, and a few other lovelies as well. The doctor focused on the chest pain probably even more than the joint pain even though I told him repeatedly that it wasn't severe and, while persistent, wasn't regular. Didn't even get to tell him the other concerns I had and while I could have belabored the point, they didn't think them serious enough to be associated with the SLE. I guess this means I get to drive my PCP crazy. Previously, anytime I visit my PCP for random things she kind of pushes it back to the rheumatologist. I figure that since the rheumatologist pretty much dismissed these symptoms, and considering that they are all popping up within the past month or so and were not present previously, leads at least me to think that something is going on.

I think that I have finally reached a point where I am going to demand they do something. I have lived with this joint pain for approximately 10 years. They don't deem it to be serious enough as it is not debilitating and does not "hinder me from daily activities" to quote the doctor. No, it doesn't, because I refuse to be driven by this constant pain that makes me want to just drop to the floor and sob uncontrollably. I will not let it have that much hold over me, so I guess it is not serious enough for them to deal with. I am sick of that load of bullshit. No, this is not a normal thing. I should not have to go through my day to day life with any combination of ankles, knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers and toes hurting.

I have the option to go back on medication that barely dampens the pain, but why bother? I want it resolved so that it doesn't continue on for another 10 years. I think that if I can't get anywhere with my current health system over the next few months, I am going to start seeking outside help and looking into more holistic possibilities. I am curious as to whether or not acupuncture will alleviate any of it.

*Sigh* I am just so frustrated.....

I look psychotic in a balaklava

It has been a very good Christmas weekend thus far. Thursday, we had my parents and grandparents over for a full turkey dinner. We were determined to have leftovers, so for 6 people we got a 19.87 pound turkey. Let's just say that we have plenty of leftovers and are tackling hot brown's and I can't wait. Christmas day we just spent the day at home with Sebastian and Roosta and cleaned. Mr. Incredible got a carpet shampooer as a present from my parents and I am amazed that he waited almost a whole day to use it. So we cleaned a good deal yesterday and I went through and organized a lot of my crap. It was quite nice. This morning mom called me not longer after I got up and asked what we had planned today and we hatched a plan to venture out. Dad then called me while mom was showering to discuss the possibility of Polish for lunch, then a viewing of Sherlock Holmes which turned out to be quite enjoyable! Then my parents stayed over for pizza and a rousing game of Scrabble wherein dad challenged "Ya", but allowed "ogive". Ya got me.....

Now Mr. Incredible and I are both sacked out on the couch with our respective laptops and debating how tired we are. I am thinking that I want to cull the Social Security Death Index a little more after hopping in the shower but I am not sure how well that will work out. I also want to really start looking into seeing how much I can find online as to whether or not pre-WW2 church records were sent from church to church as a person moved (i.e. whether the church that performed last rites for my Great Aunt and Great-Grandparents would also have info on their other sacraments). In some ways it is rather hard to find church records for a religion that you don't follow. Also, I really should look into the exact date taht I was baptized as I do not know when it was other that that I wore green jeans that day.

Get drunk in Tijuanica.....

A dinner of tomatoes, pizza rolls, and red headed sluts. An evening of a movie and drawing in super comfy Green Giant jammies. Couldn't be better!

Strawberry Fields Forever

I have many favorite drinks: milk, straight up water, Jack and Lemonade, sweet tea, grape juice, Jack and Mountain Dew, Disaronno and Rock and Rye, no-water chai. However none of these can manage to bring a smile to my face the same way that strawberry tea can. Granted, I take it with way to much sugar and just the right amount of cream, but it is still beyond yummy. It manages to makes work "all better" when works seems to rear it's ugly head. Or perhaps it is just that it allows me a better mindset to deal with it all. Either way, I thank Celestial Seasonings for making such yumminess, and for Meijer for stocking it, at least most of the time.

I'm getting my sould reapplied while my skin is getting dyed

Hooray for non-productive productivity! I.E. I have been quite productive, just not on anything that I intended on working on or was striving to complete today. I also fear that Mr. Incredible's insomnia is wearing off on my as it is midnight and I still have not hopped in the shower and am still not the least bit tired. This is not to say that I won't regret this in a few mere hours when I have to get up. And then we get a work breakfast as tomorrow is one of my co-worker's birthday. She rocks, but it takes some creativity as she is very specific about what she will eat so the organizing of these potlucks takes a bit of planning ;)

I can't believe that Mr. Incredible only has 5 more classes total and he will be done with school. When he started, the time frame seemed so large and daunting. I am amazed that I will soon get to see him more than just in passing. This will also require me to have to eat regular meals, which I am not so sure that I am looking forward to. Frankly, knowing that I am an adult and can eat some hummus and a tomato for dinner quite rocks!

Our Christmas tree still looks quite bare as it is decorated with a whopping one ornament, and only because that one was left on the tree from last year. I am rather hesitant to decorate is as I know that Roo will just take them off and I will find them strewn all over the apartment. Kind of like how it has now become all too common to see him walking down the hallway with one of Mr. Incredible's sock dangling from his mouth and a whole line of ones behind him that he has already lost interest in. I pick up enough socks to know that I don't want to deal with the ornaments. I am quite surprised that he has left my 2-Mary-and-no-Joseph manger alone this long. I also fear that I may have just jinxed myself by mentioning this.

It has been raining all day and you would think that it is Spring outside. There are puddles everywhere. I guess at some point we are supposed to get snow, but they have been saying possible snow showers every few days for the past week or two. At this point, I would like to see some pretty snow, but know I will shoot myself in another month or two for saying that. Actually, it will be a month as we always get a big snowstorm for my birthday. Winter is definitely upon us though as my lovely desert skin now requires the uber-moisturizing soap. Our dry-dry-dry air at work is probably also to blame, as it was even bad enough to give Miss Bee a bloody nose today. :/

Misfits playing on the stereo....

So it hasn't exactly been the greatest year for big-night-out's, but there are always some that stand out. The one that really stands out for me though would have to be lunch with Mr. Incredible and my mom at La Fiesta the day after Mr. I. proposed. I had a yummy burrito and Mountain Dew and we had a pretty crappy waitress (of the it-takes-15-minutes-to-get-her-attention-and-three-requests-for-a-refill-after-that variety). My mom and I also got to finally (openly) talk about wedding plans and the purple flowers, lmao. Kinda bummed as I don't even remember the last time I got to go to Carl's, but I will never complain as long as I get some Mexican food.

Take a sad song, and make it better

I have decided that since I suck at NaBloPoMo, I will attempt this challenge instead. I am hoping that since there are set topics for each day, I can succeed at this as I can delay-post them to appear.

So as for my best trip of 2009, I would definitely have to say my trip to North Carolina in May with dad. I absolutely LOVED getting to see Aunt Pat and Uncle Walt as I have not seen them in far too long and this time spent with them was way too short. I was quite nervous about this trip and how I would be able to handle seeing grandpa and it was nothing like I expected. I am still not sure how I feel about that, but I do want to see him again! I also fell in love with the area in which they live. It is absolutely gorgeous and I now want to live in the mountains.... just not mountains that get all icy and snow-covered for over half of the year.

I think I need to make another trip soon.... esp. with the flight requiring more time spent waiting to taxi than actually in the air. Perfection!

Your car stereo is state of the art- my ghetto blaster is falling apart

Next year Mr. Incredible and I need to have Thanksgiving dinner at our place. This is the second year in a row that we have not gotten any leftovers.... it's quite sad! Overall, it's been a very good long weekend. I have gotten to spend 4 days straight with my fiance. I don't even remember the last time we got to do that. We have undertaken the task of making a pair of scrubs for him. We started cutting them out yesterday and they should have been done an hour or two ago.... until I managed to cut a whole in the neckline. And then Mr. Incredible noticed that for the front of the scrub top, all of the Kermit's on it were upside down. So we are currently taking it apart so that it can be fixed.

Friday morning, Dad and Mom met us for some early morning shopping. Dad was out of luck on the TV that he was hoping for. But mom and I discussed the options for my wedding dress and how it can (and hopefully will) work out as a whole. Now I just have to determine the exact color of the dress and find the right green that I so desire..... At least I have 671 days to work on, design, and finish this. I think I better get my ass in gear!

And I shall leave you all with the hope to go invent something.      

so the time we shared it was precious to me...

My hands smell like onions. This is something that I will never quite get used to as none of the normal tricks are helping the smell to dissipate. And to top it off, it has been 15 hours since I chopped up the onions!

 

Lately, no matter what I tried, I just could not get into the holiday spirit. Not that I was dreading the holidays, I just wasn't overly looking forward to them. Until grocery shopping with Mr. Incredible the other day. It could help that I had not quite had that burrito yet, but I was HUNGRY when shopping. This usually equates to lots of junk in our cart, but we did fairly well this trip! Primarily veggies and meat, with some Rocky Road ice cream thrown in (gotta love the marshmallows....). Pork looked fantastic so we got some under the begging and pleading of him FINALLY! making me some tamales. Then I spied the cabbage and NEEDED to make stuffed cabbage. And then I figured that if I am gonna make stuffed cabbage, then I damn well better finally get around to making some pierogies as well since I have wanted homemade ones for just about EVER!

 

Last night I decided that I better get busy on all of this cooking as these three particular dishes are rather time consuming. I intended to start on the pierogi filling while making the golabki. However, I failed to pay attention to the amount of potatoes, just washing, peeling, and dicing for what seemed like FOREVER! Needless to say, I currently have 10 POUNDS of potato mixture chilling in my fridge waiting to be stuffed into dough tonight! I can't wait!!! Also have to deal with cabbage.... and try to keep Bug away from it. let's just hope that Ross doesn't decide that he, too, likes cabbage. I have weird pets.

 

For reasons unbeknowst to me, all of this cooking has put me in the holiday spirit.... next thing you know I might actually tackle kruschiki.

It's time to spread your wings

I absolutely adore Biffy. I always forget just how much until I start listening to her again. I have no clue why my musical taste goes in waves, but so be it. She always inspires me so much. Brings about a lot of ideas and ambitions. I suppose that that being said, I should listen to her a lot over the next 682 days while wedding plotting. I have so many ideas re: flowers right now and want to start on all of the flowers, but figure that I should probably wait until the girls have dresses and we figure out exactly who all is standing up in the wedding. Grr... It's so frustrating because there are so many things that I want to jump headfirst into, but I know I should be patient and wait. I also REALLY need to get a new bra before I can get to the dress planning, but all in due time.

Also, I have recently become addicted to tumblr and one of the feeds that i love is all about tats. Sheesh I want so many more tats and I want them NOW! lol I am in a very random mood so I think I shall ramble now. My recent love is cheese.... and now that I actually found a wine variety that I enjoy, I really want to have wine and cheese..... I miss all my fun clothes. I feel like I dress so much more boring now than I used to. I think hair color plays a big part of it. I know that I am trying to be nicer to my hair and not kill it anywhere nearly as much as I used to, but I miss it changing with my mood. I think a lot of it has to do with growing my hair out so I have a lot more hair to deal with than before, but still..... It also plays into my inability to deal with my hair. It seems like it once again just gets thrown up so that I don't have to deal with it.

I really want more time to dye fabrics. I want to have some white on white fabric to play with as it had interesting results when Aunt Pat and I were playing. I also have a few thoughts for wool felting, but I think I will need to play with it some to see how it holds up. I have three million projects going at the moment and I suppose I should finish them before I jump into wedding projects, but that's just no fun. I really want tamales..... Damn- now I am hungry.

Ain't no easy way to say but I need to get away and I'm never coming back again

So Friday pretty much sucked. I guess it can be surmised that since we have, on average, 2 Friday the 13th's per year, one of them tends to no-go-so-well. My day was overall crappy, then I managed to get on the wrong bus when going home. This typically wouldn't be an issue as there are three variations of the same route that practically drop me off at my door. The issue being that I managed to get on the one that only goes halfway on my route. So in essence I get a mile and a half from home and have to wait for the next bus to come by. Mr. Incredible took pity on me and came to pick me up, but while I was waiting for him, I was chatting with the other people at the stop where I got ditched. One of them also got on the wrong bus and was dumped along with me. The other was a man who had picked up a few groceries with his almost 6 year old son who was just about the cutest thing I had ever seen. He was very chatty and quite hilarious and probably would have shared his chocolate milk with me were it not for "girl cooties". I spent about 10 minutes chatting with them and I left smiling as he was dancing for traffic, trying to entertain them. I think God put me on the wrong bus on purpose so that I could have some cheer as I definitely needed it that day.

 

The rest of my weekend was just so-so as stuff just keeps weighing on my mind. It will all be resolved soon, but in the mean time we are uber-frustrated!

 

I also heard the best advice today when discussing the guest list for the wedding with Miss Bee. Our co-worker said that her approach is "Would I want to go to something of theirs?" If not, don't worry about not inviting them. I really need to focus on that!

What a night for a dance, you know I'm a dancing machine!

Me: I love my dream world... I don't break out in hives there!

Miss Bee: I like it in MY dream world. Tommy Foster has visited me there a LOT lately. Oh, and I haven't told you, (in excited non-shrill voice) he's playing at Zukey Lake on my birthday!

 

You see... this is made even better by the fact that she was practically jumping up and down the other day when she found out that he was playing there then..... not the she hasn't sent him a message asking to or anything, because that I just could not comment on, but that this is probably the tenth time so far this week that she's told me. And I giggle hysterically every time she tells me because it's so cute how excited she gets. I guess she'll have to wear her signed hat then! ;)

P.S. Tommy Foster does Rock! If you ever get the chance, definitely go an see him! Esp. at Cleary's Pub in Chelsea.... they have fried pickles!

We are, we are.... the youth of a nation......

Before I was born, my mom went for an interview for a job at a dentist's office. She did not get the job, but she did end up with a new dentist. Needless to say, at some point or another, probably half of my family members have visited his office and he has been my dentist for all almost-twenty-six years of my existence. He is as well acquainted with the goings-on in my life as one can be with a 15 minute conversation every six months. He has a daughter the same age as my cousin Dena. She and her husband divorced right around the same time that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and I became officially divorced. We were briefly discussing this as he mentioned that she was still kind of upset about it. He asked if I was upset about it in any way and I honestly told him that I did not regret ending things. He stated that he wished she could get to that point and feel the same way that I do about things. All that being said, it was a part of my life and in it's own way, it did whatever part of making me who I am today.

All that being said.....

On October 24th, my best friend asked me to be his wife. He proposed in the most innocuous way with a ring that was exactly what I did not desire, yet it's all so perfect. Every day that I see this ring on my hand, I fall more and more in love with it, for the history of it, for what it represents, and for itself. We have begun our wedding planning and it's quite fun so far. My intentions for it all is to make it about us and those that we love. I want those that we love to be able to celebrate this special even in our life with us. I also don't intend on building this up to the extent that I feel let down when we are married and the planning is over.

hey.... it's still a post

I wish I got this much sleep......

Just one of those day's, when you don't wanna wake up....

Today was one of those days where I had 2 conversations that managed to make me shake my head and go "Huh?" One was with a clinic coordinator which re-affirmed my previous thoughts on management. The other was with Captain Tinydick and I have come to the conclusion that I need to just stop talking to him. Every time we converse I finish the conversation wanting to just hit him as he is so oblivious and delusional. This still amazes me as while I can hold a grudge with the best of them and you sure as hell don't want to piss me off, but I am still not a violent person in the least.

Aside from that it was an overall good day. I set up a time this week to look at our (or at least mine and mom's) preferred reception site. We will see how our opinion fares after seeing it in person and asking lots more questions. I have also gotten more prelim stuff done, which makes me very happy.

I also managed to catch up on my geekdom this evening, which was a great way to relax. I also started yet another program, although this one should be done tomorrow most likely. Speaking of tomorrow, I should really get my ass in gear as mom is picking me up at the ass-crack-of-dawn tomorrow for work. Ouch!

Lately, Mr. Incredible and I have both talked about how we want more friends. Just people to hang out with whenever, that can be called at the last minute for coffee, or that drop by unexpectedly just to say hi. I am not the only one who feels like this, and after talking about it over the weekend, Crys feels the same way too. Maybe there is just something in the air lately.

Also, I am ecstatic to know that a large number of my favorite foods currently reside in my kitchen: bacon, avocados, yummy cheese, hummus, and semi-good tomatoes. I am in heaven! :)

P.S. Captain Tinydick is so named without us ever having firsthand knowledge of said name, although Gimpy cracked up as we were discussing the name, so it has since stuck.

Take another look at me now

Today.... super uneventful. My throat hurt all day due to smoke from burning leaves yesterday. An otherwise uneventful end to a pretty fantastic weekend. Work seemed to drag due to scratchy throat that was not the least bit aided by tortilla chips, DRY eyes! (that not even the super fantastic eye drops could fix. thankfully I've been wearing my glasses for the past few days) and a headache that still has not quite gone away. In spite of it all I have managed to be surprisingly productive this evening and have not even killed the cat! And to top it off, I feel bad for hurting a friend. I hope to have it all sorted out tomorrow, but it's been eating me up all day!

And now I will leave you with some pictures, and in the words of Biffy, feel renewed and know you have a clean slate everyday!!!!

It's my life.....

and boy is it ever fun! This whole year has been quite astonishing, and this past month more than ever! I don't have a whole lot of time to pound my fingers here as my internal clock is definitely not adjusting well to the reverting away from Daylight Savings Time and the copious amounts of wine (I know!!! I finally drink wine!!!) and candy that were consumed by me yesterday followed by still-not-enough sleep this morning. Needless to say, while it is still quite early, all things considered, I feel as though it is 2 am. However, I am also counting this as my first post for NaBloPoMo and my intent to succeed this year. So without further ado, wish me good luck and sweet dreams as I need to go pass out with a quickness!

PS: for those whopping 2 people out there that I have not told yet.... I'm engaged!!!! :D:D:D:D

Baby Roosta.... approx 12 weeks

Make me, Break me, Any way you need me......

Oh what a long strange trip it's been!

 

I am not sure what to think of this year as a whole so far. I realize that it is only October 7th, but I am not sure I can handle two and a half more months along the same vein as the past 9 and a half! Sheesh!

 

Grimsby and Grandpa are now all moved in down here. Let's here it for a 15 minute (and not three and a half hour!) drive to see them! It is also such a relief to see Grandpa doing so well lately. We went over this past Saturday to see if they needed help moving stuff in. He knew who both Scott and I were when we got there. Their normal bed is still in storage up in Traverse City, so they are using a spare bed frame. It's painted green metal. At some point, mom will end up with this bed so either this summer or last she started sanding/scraping off the paint. On Saturday the decision was made that the bed frame needed to be painted. Mom sent Squirt and I to the store to get paint for it. They wanted to paint it black and I wanted PINK! (anybody else here thinking of the blue frosting debacle?!?!) Squirt and I raced out to Grandpa (and no concussions ensued this time;) ) and he emphatically said no to the black! I asked about pink and he said sure so off we ran before anyone could argue with him! We came back with a lovely bright raspberry and a Caribbean blue. We have the bed half done, and it is half blue and half pink! We also painted their metal frame patio chairs and they, too, look awesome! I do realize that pink is not an ideal bed frame color, but I was going to jump at the opportunity since he so adamantly vetoed the toilet planter. I'll take it anywhere I can get it!

 

Last night the Tigers lost in their attempt to make it into the playoffs. Took it into 12 innings only to lose! What makes it even worse is that they had so many opportunities throughout the game! I mean, imagine how much of a douche you would feel like for striking out with a full count, bases loaded, and two outs only to let them take it from you a mere 15 minutes later! Ack! Bring back 1984!!

 

After the game ended, it was also discovered that we had no water. As in can't really flush the toilet, no water to brush my teeth, dishwasher running without it, NO WATER! Stinking water main break!

 

I suppose I should get back to work as I don't want to break my productive streak for the day. But bring on the Mountain Dew!! :)

Revelations!

Me: Are you sure you aren't me in like 8 years?

Miss Bee: You know, I might just be. This is why I am warning you now!

Me: *contemplates*

 

There was a wee bit more, but it shall go unmentioned here for all concerned persons privacy.... or just because I don't want to possibly offend people.

an end to the great debate!

Based on the diagram at the end of the Park Bencher's post, Miss Bee and I were debating whether we fall on the Geekdom scale. I was assuming I was a straight-up Geek. Miss Bee then stated that she also has social ineptitude. We argued this point for a moment before she clarified that she cannot make small talk. I can talk til I am blue in the face and breathless and still manage to spit out three more sentences, but I still cannot make small talk. In lieu of this, I am all out Nerd. Miss Bee feels that she straddles the border of Dweeb and Nerd as she doesn't have much of the obsession factor.

 

This is why she rocks to work with..... :D

Oh wow!

I stumble across many a-good-looking recipes as the weeks go by, but today I swear Pioneer Woman outdid herself! This recipe was enough for me to call Mr. Incredible and have him pick up some apples so I could make it tonight, and make it I did!!! It was still way too warm to safely be eaten, but I couldn't resist and still swear it was beyond worth it! I am in heaven!

wee wittle bitty one!!

We have a new addition to our family. Tuesday evening, Mr. Incredible texted me from class saying that either that day or the next we would have a cat. I am still not sure why we only seem to gain pets via text conversations, but so be it. I came up to school to what I assumed was to see the kitten, but it turns out it was to bring it home. We are now the proud owner of a 6 month old kitten named Roosta. He is still as of yet unnicknamed, but I am sure he will bestowed with one soon. Pictures will be forthcoming as soon as I transfer them from Timmy to Abby. The best part of it all though is how well he and Bug are taking to each other. That part makes me incredibly happy as I was quite worried.

baby lou tattoo....

So far, my four day weekend is absolutely fantastic! Yesterday we slept in and then headed off to the library. Spent some time puttering around there and picked up some books and dvd's. On our way home, Mr. Incredible mentioned that he wanted to check out U of M's Art Museum and I mentioned that I STILL wanted pizza. We decided to snag some Happy's and go to the park, then head to the museum. Around this time, bitch mood kicked in for no apparent reason. We failed to take into account that it was still the end of student move-in. Took FOREVER to get across time which only furthered my already lovely mood. Finally we parked (hurray for a blue AVI) and as we headed out of the sturcture, Mr. Incredible was trying to get out of me what was bothering me. In the midst of spilling my guts I broke out in tears which somehow managed to make everything better. I hate that sometimes you just have to cry. It's bad enough crying at all in general, even if it does pose much interest to Gimpy. Back to my story.... We finally decided that Happy's was not worth anything compared with Cottage Inn deep dish (ah, my third-or-fourth true love...) so we intended to snag some and head to the park by the cube. Instead my bladder decided that it wanted to participate, so we meandered an extra couple of blocks in search of anywhere with a public restroom. Finally feeling more "relieved", we snagged some super yummy deep dish and headed off to the spinny (!!!) cube to eat and people watch. Meandered in and out of a few shops on State and I will never cease to be amazed by the re-emergence of the students each fall. Headed to MBS as I wanted to look into their supply of 4x4 grid paper and also found out that they carry the supplies that I have been searching all over town for for a few weeks. I was beyond thrilled! Headed off to the museum, which I still can't believe I have never been to before. I <3'd it! They actually have a Beckmann there! I swooned! Sadly, I was wearing my second-favorite flip-flops which sadly as not as cushiony as the rubber-soled ones. By this point, the balls of my feet were KILLING me! I decided to shed the shoes and wandered around the fantastic wood floors of the new wing of the museum, which I am also convinced would make awesome lofts. Heading home, we watched some Alias and vegged out. It was idyllic, and just the kind of day I needed, sans crying.

Baby’s in reno with the vitamin d

Why is it that if someone asks me how to spell something, I can do it quickly and spit it out, but if I actually stop to think about it, I get tripped up and may falter??

 

Why is it that I will look right at a doorknob or corner as I am turning and still manage to walk into that object? Why am I that unable to make it down the hallway without walking into something? And don't even get me started on skipping around corners..... it just doesn't work!!

 

Also, I don't find it odd that I will match my pace when walking to the beat of whatever song is currently stuck in my head. I do find it odd, however, when I change the song in my head to match my pace.

 

I am not in the mood to work today. I finished one drawing and did three others over the weekend as well as one that I am not counting. I got a lot of stuff done last night that I have been putting off for far too long, but now all I want to do is sit here and draw. And find a way to make buttons. I need to increase my button collection, so if any of you stumble across some cool/odd/interesting/spare buttons, please keep my in mind and share the love!! I also want to make clay flowers. And find a pair of cool old watering cans. Preferably yellow ones.... I want to go take pictures of the paint chip selection at the store for the next project I have in mind. I need lots more $$ to buy fabric at JoAnn's. I need lots more space for fabric. I need to finish some of these projects to get rid of some of this fabric. I want to learn how to marble paper.  I want to take the class on letter pressing. I want a studio or at least my own space to sprawl out all my projects. I miss my dog and I want pizza.... think that about sums it all up for now! ;)

it's my life, and it's now or never....

For quite a while, I have been quite bummed about how things turned out with Lumpy. I had contemplated contacting him on several occasions. I picked up the phone to call him at least three times that I can recount vividly. I started however many emails. You get the picture. I finally realized, though, that it was his decision. If he wants to sever all contact, that's fine. I will abide by his wishes no matter how many times I just want to hash something out with him. I am not being sardonic in the least, but I truly hope he has found it in himself to be happy.

now go stand up to a giant say that I'm a fighter

"I can picture you with a tattoo of a troll... the pink haired troll... on a mountain bike with a jersey that says 'Yoo-Hoo'"

 

This is what Mr. Incredible thinks Miss Bee should get....

You're breaking my heart; You're shaking my confidence daily

Each day feels complete if, by the time I am ready to calm down and relax for the evening, I have loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen. Last night sadly was not one of those nights. I totally spaced that Gimpy was stopping by to pick up some of his birthday cake from over the weekend. He called me to ask how much longer til I got home and I felt horrible telling him that I was still sitting at my desk. I hauled ass to get home and we divvied up the cake that I would love to take credit for. (Sadly I only baked it... Mr. Incredible made the cream cheese frosting that MADE the cake) We each ate a piece and he headed out to grab his not-so-little-anymore munchkin. I ate some leftover pasta and read for a few minutes. Then Paternal Parental Unit stopped by for a few minutes on his way home from work and we entertained Bug by teasing him with all his Precious (any stuffed animal he deems as his). After dad left I read for a few minutes and sacked out on the couch. I woke up in time to grab a quick shower and pick up Mr. Incredible from class. We played a hand of cards and I sacked out, at least in my comfy bed this time!

 

Essentially, I got NOTHING done last night. I know I needed it because I felt like shit by the time I went to bed, but I still hate days like that. At least Monday night I made up for it by pairing up outfits for work for like a week and a half. I would like to say that this means I don't always wear the same thing day after day after day, but as I am sitting here in my favorite black shirt and black cords, I might be a wee bit misleading. I also altered two pairs of pants before running out of my favorite thread. I still have one more pair of jeans to work on though. And that kitchen was damn spotless(!!) by the time I went to bed.

 

Yes, it really does only extend to the kitchen as the rest of the apartment is still relatively spotless with the exception of that one damn clothes basket in the bedroom. I seem to just keep moving it from one spot on the floor to another (it all needs to go in the linen closet, which I find quite boring to tackle) so I will grab towels from it as I need to, and add folded, clean ones as they appear, yet I can't seem to do anything about it.

 

Now I really want to go home and clean. Maybe there really is something wrong with me....

Two little monkeys jumping on the bed.....

One of those days filled with excellent conversations at work and none of us are in the mood to work.... I tried uploading more pictures last night and they were almost complete when it stopped working, so I gave up and went back to drawing.... Hope to finish it today. Also actually managed to paint my nails (twice, as after painting them sparkly pink, I covered it with blood red).

 

Today I woke up and thought long and hard about whether or not getting out of bed was worth it. Then the dog laid his (thankfully not drooly) head on my arm and I realized it was Friday. That alone was enough to get me up. Well, than and I knew that if Bug was already up, he would soon be nudging my head with his gargantuan nose and dog breath first thing in the morning is far worse than my morning breath....

 

Also found out an amazing discovery yesterday! We don't actually have to ATTEND BlogHer conferences.... we could always just go and hang out with those kick ass peeps! Now Miss Bee and I have decided that we want to go next year and hang out and live it up with Zoot, Amalah, Chef's Widow, and Ree. Then I realized that I better start commenting and communicating so that we don't have to just walk up to them and say "Hi, ISwearI'mNotAStalkerAndYouSeemTotallyKickAssAndILoveYourBlogAndThePicturesThatYouPostAndDidIMentionThatIAmNotAStalker!" and Miss Bee plans on just pointing at me and saying "I'm with her"

 

Still utterly amazed that BlogHer and ComicCon fall on the same weekend. I wonder if this is the case every year as I also REALLY want to go to ComicCon... (Poor Mr. Incredible for having to put up with me! Yesterday I was recounting our goal to hang out with our/my favorite bloggers and I am pretty sure he just thought I was nuts!)

 

I have also been feeling quite rebellious lately. To the point where there are some things I want to do and honestly wouldn't really care about the outcome. The mildest of which being dyeing my hair pink. One of my co-workers, one of the most kick-ass women I have ever met (I can only hope to be even similar to her and that would still be something!) mentioned that perhaps it is related to a meeting that I had last week that I left feeling ok but the more time that passed and I had a chance to think things over, frankly, scared the shit out of me. Or maybe it just pissed me off. I have also been trying to decide exactly how I feel, but irregardless, it left me unsettled. I was also having a really bad week since then due to both that and our sudden shitty/cold weather. On Wednesday, I went home from work, had one shot of jager, and the remainder of my week has been much better even since then!

 

Mr. Incredible, as of last night, is now 1/3 of the way through his schooling. I am so proud of him. I know that now I get significantly less time to spend with him due to him being in school 4 nights a week with an average of 1-4 tests per week plus all his homework, but I also realize that come the beginning of March (after classes and his externship), it will all be worth it.

 

To end on a completely unrelated note, I am hungry and LOVE my (stolen) fountain pen.... it rocks!

 

 

 

 

Huh?

You have no idea this happens around here.....

 

Miss Bee: How do you spell "undeniable"?

Me: "U-N-D-E-N-I-A-B-L-E"

Miss Bee: Right!

Me: *blank stare*

 

You'd think I would get used to this, and still everytime we both end up cracking up. It's like she's the moderator of a spelling bee....

I think that I'm bigger than the sound

I am not in the mood to do much of anything today. I have a million things that I want to do, both at work and at home, yet fear that I won't get anything done until I finish this damn book. Come on though, it is my third time reading it and I already know what will happen, yet still every free minute I have I find myself sucked once again into reading more and more of it.... I read over 200+ pages last night (about 1/4 of the book) and so I only have the remaining 1/4 left to read, and this is the best part of the book, so it should fly.

 

On a totally unrelated note, I am very random today.... I would love to live on a houseboat. I want a loft. I want property so that I can put out-buildings around it for various family members and a studio for Mr. incredible and I. Maybe separate studios as my supplies tend to multiply.

 

I miss my pink hair more than I have in the past 2 years. I miss my bangs. I can't wait til we are through with this humidity so that I can wear them down again and not have to pin them back. I miss the super-bouncy curls from when I first cut my hair again. I can't wait for my hair to be looooonnngggg again. I will constantly remind myself not to dye my hair black again.

 

I must call the judge's clerk, yet fear I STILL won't get to talk to anyone.

 

I love this skirt. I dread the day that it finally wears out. It's too damn comfortable and perfect.

 

Why can't I get my nails in a shape that I like? Why can't I actually pain my fingernails and not peel it off?

 

Why did it take me 15 years to talk to him, and now I have sooooo many other things that I want to talk to him about.

 

I want to live in the desert. I want to live in the mountains. I want to move. I like it where I am. I want my own house. But I don't want to be tied to one location right now.

 

I love that I can be a creature of whim. I wish I was more spontaneous. I wish I thought some things through more. I love that you can't go back and change things. I can't wait til September 10th.

 

I am glad that I don't feel TOO burdened by the things that I SHOULD be doing in life.

 

I love cheese. Just not yellow cheese. Or too-strong cheese. Or cheese that requires it to be chased by jager (i.e. barnyard cheese)

 

I love my co-workers. I really lucked out with them.

 

I love my dog. He makes me giggle and I just can't help but hug him.

 

I love my parents. And I love that I am what I am today because of them.

 

I love Mr. Incredible just because he's him!

 

 

Things that make you go hmmmm.....

Me: You know, I would be a really bad wine drinker. I would buy it solely based on the bottle shape and label design.

Miss Bee: You know, I've done that before and really lucked out.

Me: but I don't even like wine!

Miss Bee: you know, me neither!

 

Yep, it appears to be one of those days.....

I hate it!

I miss our long conversations over absolutely nothing at all. I miss your laugh. I miss your love of butter and all things pineapple. I miss our mutual crush on Nick Hexum. I miss debating over his orientation. I miss being called Ison. I miss being able to talk anything out with you. I miss wandering around with you at lunch. I miss all the things that only you understood. I miss almost being able to be talked into giving you my tank top.

I just miss you, and I hate you for making me miss you!

Addendum!

I really need a video camera as Miss Bee is trying to clear her name and clarify that she meant funny, not cute, that's just what came out. However, she has now imitated cockroach running three (3!!) times! Silly girl!

 

Also, we had a very interesting conversation this morning about whether humans were meant to be monogamous and what animals are. Also, how our ability to communicate may help or hinder monogamy compared to various types of aspects. We've decided that overall, humankind is screwed, both in the literal and figurative sense.

What the.....

Miss Bee: Remember that cockroach friend we had?

Me: Yeah

Miss Bee: Wasn't he cute?

Me: *skeptically* No!

Miss Bee: but when he went *imitates cockroach running* all fast to get away

Me: *stunned silence*

Miss Bee: Ok, maybe he wasn't that cute

 

*Note: some dialogue might not be exact, but it's pretty damn close and you get the idea!

Sunshine came softly through my window today.....

I am feeling uber-productive and chipper today, just not as it pertains to work. I want to get a good chunk done on a few projects today and so far I am acctually doing that (knock on wood.... we all know how uttering anything around here goes, as then all hell breaks loose) I want to go for a run, then get busy on working on my divorce stuff, work on my quilt, pick out the dyes that I need for my next project, read my book, and help Mr. I. study for his test.

 

Boy it's amazing how much work cuts into life! *sigh*

 

Also, I am so f'in sick of certain co-workers who are actually PROUD of themselves for only eating six hundred and some odd calories in a day when they look perfectly fine. I understand wanting to change a few things, but when diet is all I basically hear you EVER talking about, how am I not supposed to think you have body issues. I know I am nowhere near as healthy as I would like to be, and I do know how to get to that point, but I am almost turned off by the constant obsession from those I hear. It's worse than junior high if that's all that you can talk about during your lunch! Ack! You already look fantastic!

 

 

 

 

I'm having more fun- now that we're done

Three years ago today I said "I do" to the man that I did not end up spending the rest of my life with.

 

I am no longer the girl with the black-to-cover-up-the-blue hair. I am no longer the girl who will put up with shit becuase I feel like I can "adapt" to it.

 

I am now the blondish-reddish haired girl who is learning to live with the curls. I am the girl who, thanks to Capt.C, has learned that I deserve better. I don't have to put up with shit. I don't have to be upset that a woman that I see frequently at work would sleep with my husband in her own home, with me and my boss present. I have realized that it is not "my loss" by any means. It is her loss for being so sad. And it is HIS loss for so many reasons that I can't even fathom. I am the girl who just doesn't care, because I am happy.

 

I am happy with myself. I am happy with my family. I am happy being there for my family. I am happy that I am passed whatever level degree of depression I had, because my creativity has returned. I am sad that I am no longer friends with Lumpy, and miss him daily, but am not surprised that it came to what it did. I am happy that I know that I tried. I am happy that I went to see my grandfather after not speaking to him for 15 years. I am happy that I feel a sense of closure to the aspects that have been haunting me for 15 years, and now just miss him terribly. I am happy that I have a boyfriend and a dog that love me (almost) equally. I am happy that I have close friends that I know are there for me. I am happy for family fights, because it means that my family is close and that we all care.

 

I am happy being me. So now I shall go drink some milk, and revel in this beautiful day by taking Bug for a walk.

I was thirstin for knowledge, and he had a car...

FOR TODAY...
Outside my window... is sunshine, a squirrel, and a cute toddler trying to escape down the sidewalk
I am thinking... that it has been a long week and I am very thankful tomorrow is Friday. Hurray long weekend, then short work-week!
I am thankful for... everything and everyone I have in my life
From the kitchen... came a salad as I am a slacker and didn't want to dirty up any of my now-clean dishes
I am wearing... a comfy dress (with pockets!!) and flip-flops
I am creating... a wall hanging, and felt flowers, and beaded leaves, and writing
I am going... to the store soon for amenities
I am reading... Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood
I am hoping... that my tummy feels better soon
I am hearing... iTunes on shuffle
Around the house... the dog is pacing, and it's mostly clean
One of my favorite things... is the smell of dryer sheets coming through the vents
A few plans for the rest of the week: Sleep! doctor tomorrow, doing laundry, and packing
Here is picture thought I am sharing...



an ideal weekend....

I'm so excited...... And I just can't hide it.....

Me: I wanna dye it!

Miss Bee: Diet? (grimaces) We just got done bithcing about them....

Me: (realizing she misunderstood me) Not that kind.... are you kidding, I had a warm chocolate chip cookie and mountain dew for breakfast.

Both: *giggling*

 

It is one of those days.

I am quite happy that it is Wednesday as it means that I am two days away from being able to sleep in.

I am once again able to play with music.

I have been VERY productive so far this week.

I hate my pager.

Today is the one year mark for tequila night! ;)

I just finished a very good book and need to pay on my library fines so I can check out some books...

I still have lots of Mountain Dew left, so I am apologizing now, Miss Bee! :)

 

Oh well... back to work I go

Addendum: I forgot my eyeliner and flip-flops at home this morning, so that kinda sucks!

And all I really want....

is to not have to face it. I know that it is something I have to work through and that 14 years is far to long to have not spoken to my grandfather. Unfortunately it seems as though having a date set and planes tickets (virtually) in hand means that there are a lot of things I have to work through in the next three weeks. I am absolutely ecstatic to get to see my aunt and uncle and most of my cousins and their families. I am still amazed that my grandpa is happy about seeing me and my dad. I am still not sure if it would be better to go by myself. I am glad that my dad is going. I think it's really something that he needs to do, but I also remember what a bear he could be before having to see my grandparents when I was younger. Frankly, there are some issues surrounding that that I have to work through as well. I am glad that a time has finally come to face it all, but still three weeks doesn't seem nearly long enough as I don't even know where to start. There are so many things that I want to say to both that I have gone over and over in my head, but yet I am afraid that I won't be able to actually get them out when I have the chance. I am also not sure what to expect, which doesn't help either....

Oh well, there is no use agonizing over it right now, so I shall go finish my book.... Sweet dreams world!

Everythings gonna be all-llll right!

10 things that make me happy today:

1. coming into work to find the most awesome monkey clip on my desk from Deb re: QC
2. walking in to Belgian chocolates on my desk from Marleen
3. Mr. Incredible being semi-grouchy.... it's kinda cute if not rather annoying ;) (I just want him to smile)
4. Marleen bringing Miss Bee and I flowers that she pilfered from various gardens on her walk into work (They smell DIVINE!!!)
5. A good/fun dinner last night, even with fishy-smelling margaritas
6. Stumbling across great pictures/links as I browse my rss feed, like this adroable picture
7. My super-lovey Bug, cuz it's hilarious when a 150+ lb. dog wants to lean full weight into you and be loved.
8. my messy desk, because it will be a sense of accomplishment when it is clean and orderly by the end of the day
9. Mr. Incredible having both a meeting at the school and a job interview later today.
and finally....
10. Listening to fun music at work that makes Miss Bee and I both sing along to it!

*Yawn!*

I am exhausted! I slept like a log last night, but it didn't seem to be quite enough... Or perhaps it was the fact that I finished going through the second months worth of sheets from yesterday. It resulted in a fun 330 sheets for me to copy and sort through then compile all the necessary data. Just the thought of it makes my eyes droop a little lower. After work, Mr. Incredible and I ran a few errands, then headed out for the worst dinner we've had together. Seriously! Crappy food and an even crappier server. Then we ventured to the library where for some reason my new baby decided not to let me online. I behaved and only checked out 5 books. I'm proud of myself. Then we ran to Wal-Mart (scary!) and bought new underwear. Talk about an exciting evening. Now I am sitting here next to the having-recently-eaten dog who will at any moment develop the most God-awful stench you have ever smelled emanate from a living being. Guess that means it's time for me to pass out and hope that it doesn't wake me up (again).

*insert your own song lyrics here... can't think of any over semi-cheesy jazz muzak*

My day.... Shit, where to even begin. I was UBER-productive today at work, which can be both a blessing and a curse. I got all of my current patient load up to date, save 5 that I can't deal with yet. I then finished up a few other things (in record time) so that I could spend all afternoon on a project that I semi-put-off rather regularly. See, I didn't feel the need to be as on top of it as the offending group has finally been seemingly better about using the damn checkout sheets that we recently implemented. After thinking about it though, I realized that it wasn't one person that kept fucking up, it was that everyone else had learned and was doing it properly regardless of what was specified as it was those FILLING IN THE DAMN SHEETS that can't manage to check one little check box that actually makes the basis of my job flow seemingly effortlessly. This also meant that I now have two months worth of daily generated sheets to sift through, copy, and mark as to correntness/inaccuracies thereof. The stack of sheets is a whopping 2 feet tall. I managed to get through half of it in a little over an hour before it was time to leave work and have the slightly larger stack waiting for me to tackle it in the morning before that clinic starts bitching that I have the sheets. All in all it shou;d not take me more that three hours or so tomorrow. (Isn't that a nice pleasant though...)

As for the joys of today, umm... it's Tuesday? And I actually ate breakfast! Yes, I realize that this may not really be that big of a deal, but I am NOT a morning person. To the degree that if you so much as look at me before I have washed my face and brushed my teeth, I am very apt to rip your head off your puny little neck. And talking to me... it's safer just to run in the other direction and hide. Needless to say that I will barely tolerate the existence of food until I have been up for at least an hour and (preferably) have already imbibed some caffeine. Regardless of this, I think I am actually going to try this thing you call breakfast on a more regular basis... at least until that phase passes. I think this means I will need LOTS more avocados though....

For today's enlightening conversation, this little gem took place on the elevator as we went back to drop off said offending sheets in the clinic

Miss Bee (while looking in obvious location): I know why guys wear big belt buckles. So you have to look at their penises.
Mr. Incredible (now also looking down): I am never wearing this belt around you again.
Me: *laughing raucously loudly while walking though a clinic as the both of them continue looking at his junk.

Ok, time to go buy more avocados.... enough to (maybe... hopefully) last me a whole week. Oh who am I kidding... they will be lucky to last 36 hours!

You can get it if you really want....

Ok, I'm back!!!

I have been in absentia far too long, but am now returning to a more set babbling pattern. Due to iffy computer moods and busy-ness at work I know that I have been very lax in posting. That is no longer the case! Due to my recent present to Scott and myself (matching laptops!) I am now back to bore you three with my ramblings.

I have now successfully installed iTunes and am sitting on my ass playing with Bug and watching a movie. Mr. Incredible is working late and it's quite odd to have the evening to myself.

My weekend was rather jam-packed what with baking 13 dozen (or thereabout) cookies and brownies as well as icing all of Scott's cupcakes for Marleen's surprise retirement party for her husband. I then helped her out during by keeping all the food plentiful and keeping all the dishes clean. It was a blast.

I then came home to find that Bug had decided to take it upon himself to eat all the tinfoil that was in the garbage can. He has since been puking up tinfoil..... Hurray! The latest bout was at 4:00 this morning. Poor baby, and poor MI for actually getting up to take care of him.

I think I will attempt to partake in NaBloPoMo for April. In order to not wear myself out with posting now, I will go perhaps cut some fabric for my in-progress quilt! Or finish a drawing. Or finish sewing my skirt. I'll figure out the specifics as I come to them!

all my words were bound to fail....

Long time with no posts, I know, but I am working on remedy-ing this.... just AFTER this weekend...

On the way back from my bagel-gathering, Miss Bee and I had the following exchange based on them ALWAYS knowing our names when we place our orders.
Miss Bee: Maybe we're just that rememberable.
me: What? Did you just say rememberable? Rememberable isn't a word.
Miss Bee: Yeah. Why? What do you think it should be?
Me: Memorable?
Miss Bee: Oh.... *pause* Well Rememberable is a word too, it's MY word.

Addendum: Miss Bee was an English major with a full fledged degree! She assures me!