I'm having more fun- now that we're done

Three years ago today I said "I do" to the man that I did not end up spending the rest of my life with.

 

I am no longer the girl with the black-to-cover-up-the-blue hair. I am no longer the girl who will put up with shit becuase I feel like I can "adapt" to it.

 

I am now the blondish-reddish haired girl who is learning to live with the curls. I am the girl who, thanks to Capt.C, has learned that I deserve better. I don't have to put up with shit. I don't have to be upset that a woman that I see frequently at work would sleep with my husband in her own home, with me and my boss present. I have realized that it is not "my loss" by any means. It is her loss for being so sad. And it is HIS loss for so many reasons that I can't even fathom. I am the girl who just doesn't care, because I am happy.

 

I am happy with myself. I am happy with my family. I am happy being there for my family. I am happy that I am passed whatever level degree of depression I had, because my creativity has returned. I am sad that I am no longer friends with Lumpy, and miss him daily, but am not surprised that it came to what it did. I am happy that I know that I tried. I am happy that I went to see my grandfather after not speaking to him for 15 years. I am happy that I feel a sense of closure to the aspects that have been haunting me for 15 years, and now just miss him terribly. I am happy that I have a boyfriend and a dog that love me (almost) equally. I am happy that I have close friends that I know are there for me. I am happy for family fights, because it means that my family is close and that we all care.

 

I am happy being me. So now I shall go drink some milk, and revel in this beautiful day by taking Bug for a walk.